Barbados Water Authority rushes to newly-paved section of ABC Highway to damage it as much as humanely possible
SAINT MICHAEL, BARBADOS – After hearing the news of a newly-paved section of the ABC Highway being completed in Wildey, a crew from the Barbados Water Authority were quickly dispatched to damage it as much as humanely possible.
"It is imperative that we damage newly-paved roads within 24 hours after milling and paving," Melanie Haynes, Customer Experience Manager at the Barbados Water Authority, said. "We'll have 7 years of bad luck if we don't. Some people say we're superstitious, but it's just common sense," she added.
Motorists were seen being forced to stop behind the Barbados Water Authority when the crew arrived near the newly-paved section of the ABC Highway. They quickly got their equipment out, and ran frantically to the nearest fresh asphalt they could find along the ABC Highway. "Drill baby drill," one engineer was heard shouting.
Within moments, the newly-paved section was suitably damaged and it was considered a job well done. They also checked whether the old rusty water pipes needed to be replaced, but they saw the pipes were not at the crumbling stage yet, so they promptly left.
After the Barbados Water Authority left, motorists were seen trying to crawl past the newly-damaged section of the ABC Highway to avoid destroying their tyres. "Stupse, I might as well fucking walk to work, nuh!" exclaimed one motorist, while holding on for dear life as he slowly drove over the newly-damaged section of the highway.